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Because Really, That Would Be Less Improbable
}} Haley's father assumes that Haley was the master manipulator who arranged for his rescue...which makes for a better explanation than the truth of sheer coincidence. Cast * Roy Greenhilt ◀ ▶ * Haley Starshine ◀ ▶ * Elan ◀ ▶ * Belkar Bitterleaf ◀ ▶ * Ian Starshine ◀ ▶ Transcript Haley: Dad, I missed you so much. Ian: Kitten, what are you doing here? Belkar: "Dad"? Are you frickin' kidding me?? Roy: So, wait, when the guards called this empire "The Fatherland" they meant it literally? Haley: I came to rescue you. Ian: How did you even know—? Haley: They sent me a ransom note a few years ago. It, uh, it took a while for me to get here. Haley: I'm so sorry... Look at you, you look terrible. Like you aged twenty years since the last time I saw you. Ian: Things are pretty lousy here. And that's not a figure of speech. Ian scratches his hair and chest, "scratch! scratch!" Roy: Um, I don't mean to interrupt this heartfelt family reunion— Belkar: I do! Stop talking to each other and service our curiosity. Haley: Roy, Belkar, this is my dad, Ian Starshine. Ian and Roy shake hands. Roy: Yeah, we've met, actually. Though you didn't mention your surname. Ian: Can't be too careful, you know. I should have realized something was up, though. Belkar: Come again? Ian: A powerful warrior shows up in my cell block who just happens to want to hear a long winded explanation about local politics? I should have known you were a plant. Belkar: A plant, huh? That does explain the sluggish reflexes and wooden personality. Better not let the dwarf know. Ian: Pretty smooth inside job, Kitten. You get your lackeys into position here to learn all you can, then swoop in and bust me out. Haley: Uh, thanks? Ian: That's my girl. And here I was trying to recruit them for my team. Well, the big guy, at least. Belkar: You couldn't afford my current rates, anyway. Roy: Belkar. Belkar: What? I've had offers. You don't know. Haley: Actually— Roy: Actually, your daughter works for me, Mr. Starshine, not the other way around. Roy: I'm the leader of the Order of the Stick. Ian: Oh, I see. Ian (whispering): Good work, Kitten. Always let the stuffed shirts think they are in charge. Ian (whispering): This way, you can subtly manipulate them into doing what you need without them realizing that you arranged it all from the shadows. Haley: No, Dad— Roy: And for that matter, we didn't come here to rescue you. We're here in this region on a totally unrelated mission. Roy: It's just a sheer coincidence that we happened to get thrown in the same cell block as you. Ian (whispering): Wow. You've gotten good at this. Trivia * The singular of lice is louse. * The title comments on the rationality of Ian's believe that Haley set up Roy and Belkar in the gladiator pit. * Ian does look markedly different in the gladiator pit than he did in his three previous appearances in #93, #608, and #681. External Links * 769}} View the comic * 184710}} View the discussion thread Category:Haley Finds her Father